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  • Writer's pictureThe DEN Collaborative

Tawney's Morning Reflections

Please enjoy this email I received from my sweet friend and past client, Tawney. You may remember her search for the perfect condo, but if not, feel free to refresh your memory here.



 

I am working from home today (10/28/22), the first full day I’ve worked from home, in my HOME. I sit with the cream curtains pulled to the side, As the golden sunlight streams through the window, highlighting my walls and the fragments of my family’s story hung on the walls, I peer out the windows. The trees possess vibrant hues of yellows, golds, and even green as the season quietly passes through on the community green.  


The leaves fall lazily, slowly, almost dreamlike as they leave the tree that has fostered them through their season of life. Bound on a new adventure, far from where they started. A squirrel, carefully searches the yard for her treasures, stopping here, stopping there – occasionally looking around in curiosity. She approaches the tree nearest my window, she stands on her hind legs – there’s something different in her environment! The curtains are open and she peers at me with an intensity, trying to assess just what I might be. 

I return her gaze and smile, grateful for this moment that this small, busy creature has taken an interest in me. Grateful I can watch the wind caress the trees, enjoy the leaves’ lazy dance, and sit in wonder in awe at how just lucky and blessed I am to have this place to call my own home. It was not easy to find my home, there were many calls that led to heartbreak and tears. Many hours and days filled with frustration, uncertainty, and doubt. Yet much like my new friend, Miss Squirrel, I kept searching for my treasure (figuratively, not literally – because Dumpster Fire and Grandpa Sex Dungeon were the antithesis of treasure….). There were shinier treasures and rotten ones and everything in between, and yet, when I finally found "home", it was mine, immediately. 


And through that pain, and stress, and uncertainty, I would not quit. This was a deeply personal goal, and it took time, it took patience, and it took listening, and trusting myself above all else. I’ve always struggled with that and house buying was a lesson I didn’t know I needed. Without the strife, I wouldn’t be enjoying this calm, beautiful morning. Without the frustration wouldn’t have gained the confidence I needed and new, dear friends – Megan, Hendrik, and Chivalry (Rick). I would not believe in myself the way I do now. 


This home is not just four, heavily cinder-blocked, walls, wacky wiring, or a wood-chipped-filled yard that I had to remove because the dogs hated it. This home is me. It is a representation of the trials of life, the trust I’ve built in myself, the proof that even in adversity I will not only survive, but I will THRIVE. This home Is me. It is the future me who is working so hard to improve her life, break generational cycles, and the girl who now not only dreams but believes those dreams will come true. 


I don’t know how, or who, or what, or when, but like the golden morning sun that gently kisses my face, I know there is a deeply, intensely bright future ahead for me. Any current struggles I am feeling will soon fade as the universe prepares the path for the manifestations of my future. And in this moment, all is right with the world. 


Miss Squirrel runs down the tree, she looks for her treats as she hops and flutters through the yard. Soon she stops for a snack and quickly runs behind a tree – on to her next adventure.


I wonder what mine will be?  - Tawney E. | 2022

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